Fostering social skills is a critical component of a child’s development, particularly for those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). While many social interactions happen in school or community settings, the home is a primary “social lab” where foundational skills like turn-taking and sharing are first learned and practiced with siblings and peers.
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) provides effective, structured strategies to teach these essential skills in a natural, reinforcing way. By turning social interactions into fun, predictable routines, parents can create a positive environment where children learn the value of playing together and develop the skills for successful friendships.
The Importance of Turn-Taking and Sharing
Turn-taking is a foundational social skill. It teaches a child patience, reciprocity in conversation and play, and the understanding that social interactions involve back-and-forth exchanges. Sharing, while often challenging, teaches cooperation, generosity, and problem-solving.
For children with ASD, who may struggle with understanding others’ perspectives or find transitions difficult, these skills do not come naturally. They need direct instruction and frequent, positive practice opportunities within a supportive environment.
Strategies for Teaching Turn-Taking
Turn-taking can be introduced in simple, low-stakes activities before moving to more complex play.
- Start with Non-Preferred Items and Simple Games
Begin with games where the act of taking turns is the main focus, and where the items themselves are not highly preferred. This reduces anxiety and potential conflicts.
- “My Turn, Your Turn” Verbal Cues: Use consistent, clear language. A simple visual aid, like a “My Turn/Your Turn” card, helps children understand the concept.
- Simple Motor Games:
- Rolling a Ball: A basic back-and-forth game is an excellent first step.
- Blocks: Take turns adding one block to a tower. The act of building something together is reinforcing.
- Simple Board Games: Use games designed for young children that have a clear start and end point for each turn.
2. Incorporate a Timer
Timers are neutral signals for a turn ending. They remove the parent from the role of the “turn police.”
- Implementation: Set a timer for a short duration (e.g., 30 seconds or one minute). When the timer goes off, use a clear phrase like, “Timer’s done, my turn now,” and help the child transition the item to the next person.
- Gradual Increase: Start with very short turns and gradually increase the time as the child’s tolerance and patience grow.
Fostering social skills is a critical component of a child’s development. While many social interactions happen in school or community settings, the home is a primary “social lab” where foundational skills like turn-taking and sharing are first learned and practiced with siblings and other children.
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) provides effective, structured strategies to teach these essential skills in a natural, reinforcing way. By turning social interactions into fun, predictable routines, parents can create a positive environment where children learn the value of playing together and develop the skills for successful friendships.
The Importance of Turn-Taking and Sharing
Turn-taking is a foundational social skill. It teaches a child patience, reciprocity in conversation and play, and the understanding that social interactions involve back-and-forth exchanges. Sharing, while often challenging, teaches cooperation, generosity, and problem-solving.
For some children, these skills do not come naturally. They need direct instruction and frequent, positive practice opportunities within a supportive environment.
Strategies for Teaching Turn-Taking
Turn-taking can be introduced in simple, low-stakes activities before moving to more complex play.
1. Start with Non-Preferred Items and Simple Games
Begin with games where the act of taking turns is the main focus, and where the items themselves are not highly preferred. This reduces anxiety and potential conflicts.
- “My Turn, Your Turn” Verbal Cues: Use consistent, clear language. A simple visual aid, like a “My Turn/Your Turn” card, helps children understand the concept.
- Simple Motor Games:
- Rolling a Ball: A basic back-and-forth game is an excellent first step.
- Blocks: Take turns adding one block to a tower. The act of building something together is reinforcing.
- Simple Board Games: Use games designed for young children that have a clear start and end point for each turn.
2. Incorporate a Timer
Timers are neutral signals for a turn ending. They remove the parent from the role of the “turn police.”
- Implementation: Set a timer for a short duration (e.g., 30 seconds or one minute). When the timer goes off, use a clear phrase like, “Timer’s done, my turn now,” and help the child transition the item to the next person.
- Gradual Increase: Start with very short turns and gradually increase the time as the child’s tolerance and patience grow.
3. Reinforcement
When the child successfully gives up a toy or waits their turn, provide immediate, enthusiastic praise and reinforcement. For example, “Wow, you waited your turn so patiently! Great job sharing the truck!” The act of waiting should be highly rewarded.
Strategies for Teaching Sharing
Sharing is a more complex concept than turn-taking, often requiring children to let go of a highly desired item.
- “Request First” Principle
Teach children to ask to use an item rather than just taking it. This is a vital communication skill that prevents conflict. Model the language: “Can I please have a turn?” Coach the child to use this phrase or a picture cue.
- Using a “Sharing Basket” or Box
This makes the process concrete and fun. A child can place an item they are willing to share into a specific “sharing box.” The other child can then “check out” the item for a short period. This makes sharing a special, structured activity rather than a forced handout.
- Role-Play and Social Stories
Social stories are short, simple narratives that describe social situations and the appropriate responses. Role-playing different sharing scenarios can also help children practice how to react. For example, a story about waiting for a turn on the swing, with simple pictures and a positive ending when the child waits patiently.
- The “Limited Access” Approach
Only making certain high-interest items available during joint play sessions can motivate children to follow the rules (turn-taking and sharing) to access them.
Fostering Sibling Harmony and Peer Play at Home
Siblings are often a child’s most frequent play partners, making the home environment ideal for consistent social skills practice.
- Structured Playdates: Supervise playdates closely, especially initially. Keep them short (30 minutes to an hour) and highly structured around a single activity with a clear end time.
- Set Siblings Up for Success: Coach siblings on how to use clear language, model good turn-taking, and provide positive reinforcement to their brother or sister. They become the “co-therapists” in a fun and natural way.
- Parent as Mediator/Coach: The parent’s role is not to simply enforce rules but to be a proactive coach: prompting appropriate requests, reinforcing positive interactions, and providing calm redirection when conflicts arise.
Long-Term Benefits
By systematically teaching and reinforcing turn-taking and sharing, parents are providing their children with the foundation for lasting friendships and successful social interactions throughout their lives. These skills build patience, communication, and cooperation, reducing frustration and creating a more harmonious, fun, and socially engaging home environment for the entire family.